


All's Fair in Piggyback Races and War

by Anna_banana



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Gen, Humour, One Shot, Piggyback races, f1 drivers are competitive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 15:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20027851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anna_banana/pseuds/Anna_banana
Summary: It’s a well known fact that all drivers are competitive. Be it a race, a video game, a fitness challenge, every driver feels the need to win. Which is why, when Daniel suggests a piggy back race, despite the numerous amount of protests it ends up happening anyway.





	All's Fair in Piggyback Races and War

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This is completely ridiculous.

It’s a well known fact that all drivers are competitive. Be it a race, a video game, a fitness challenge, every driver feels the need to win. Which is why, when Daniel suggests a piggy back race, despite the numerous amount of protests it ends up happening anyway. For a long period of time the drivers are busy bickering about who should go with who. The obvious idea would be just to go with team mates but with Lewis “having better things to do,” and Robert walking away muttering something that sounded like “children,” that plan wouldn’t work. 

While the arguing carries on Lance and Valtteri silently set up a random pair selector online so teams can be drawn. After adding all the names the pair look around not quite sure how to draw the attention of 16 other distracted drivers to them. Luckily Kimi however sees them struggling and gives a surprisingly loud whistle to gain everyone’s attention. 

“I made a generator on my phone so the teams are fair,” Lance says nervously, all eyes on him. “I’ll start pairing them while everyone is watching so we know it’s not rigged.”

Checo almost looks tempted to start arguing with him for the sake of arguing but all the other drivers nod in agreement so that is what is done.

The first pair end up being teammates anyway and Daniil and Alex fist bump before the younger driver jumps onto the Russian’s back. Second up is Kimi and Nico. All Kimi says to his partner is “I’m not doing any heavy lifting,” and Nico doesn’t say anything in argument. Daniel snickers at his teammate but a glare from Kimi quickly shuts him up.

When the next pair is generated there is a lot of chuckles and one particularly loud groan. “He’s far too tall for me and I’m too heavy for him,” Valtteri mutters resignedly as George jumps onto his back. The Finn lets out a muffled ‘oof’ as the weight lands on him, George having to wrap his legs right around to stop them trailing on the ground. Max even gives Valtteri a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, seeing as the pair are completely out of the competition. 

The next pairing is Pierre and Romain who immediately start playing rock, paper, scissors, to decide who is going to be going on who’s back. After several rounds, Romain beats Pierre’s scissors with a rock and lets out a cheerful whoop. Pierre sighs resignedly and bends down to let the other man onto his back before Romain says no, gesturing to his own back. When Pierre jumps up Romain grins wickedly, immediately practicing maneuvering the other Frenchman around. “I do this all the time with my kids,” Romain says with a grin that suggests he’d be willing to kill Pierre if it would help them win. At that point, the youngster grips him even tighter.

Lando and Checo are selected next, Lando bounding over to the Mexican, chattering excitedly about how he would be able to carry him. “No.” Checo simply says and Lando starts pouting sadly. “Don’t give me that look,” Checo snaps. “I want us to win, no way you run fast enough carrying me whereas I am a pocket rocket.” At that, Lando’s pout goes away and he immediately starts smiling. “Right on man, do it for the shorter people,” he says before jumping on Checo’s back.

Next up is Carlos and Kevin. For a moment they look at each other warily before distancing themselves from the group. They start whispering to each other intensely, clearly trying to decide the best method to win. When the return, Carlos is carrying Kevin on his back, both men looking triumphant. 

When all the rest of the pairs are drawn, each has an animated discussion about who should carry who. Eventually all the pairings are complete with Charles on Max’s back, Seb is on Daniel and Antonio is carrying Lance. 

Eventually the drivers are all organised, a finish line set up around 200m in the distance and everyone is lined up at the start, half of the drivers on another’s back. Seeing as there is basically no way that George and Valtteri can win, the taller man completely covering Val, the drivers all decided to let them call the start. 

“On your marks, set, GO!” George calls and they all set off. 

Romain starts out flying, elbows out and blatantly trying to wipe out the other pairs. Kimi gets Nico to steer over to the left a bit however and shoves his own arm out, quickly putting the two Frenchman's race to an end. Flying in the lead are three pairs with Max, Daniel and Daniil all running full blast. The others struggling to keep up with partner’s on their back. 

Before long they cross the line. 1st place to Max and Charles, 2nd to Seb and Daniel and 3rd place to Daniil and Alex. All of the others cross a fair distance behind. While Charles and Max celebrate, the other podium finishers joke cheekily for a rematch. 

Standing at the finishing line, hands on his hips and breathing heavily, Valtteri can’t help but mutter “I hate Hockenheim.” Still lying sprawled on the ground after not the first or second but the third time, Romain has dropped him, Pierre mutters a bitter “me too.” 

Lando and Checo are too busy discussing what competitions they would be able to win to notice anything that’s going on around them.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this nonsense :D


End file.
